Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Zoinks!

Life has sure been busy. I've missed you blogger buddy and the ZERO total people who read about my sad, sorry and silly old life.

I got a haircut. It's really short. REALLY short. The kind of short that makes your husband look like a long-haired-hippie-freak-even-tho-he's-got-a-crewcut short. But it's cool, and it only takes me three (3) minutes in the morning. And THAT'S what it's all about.

I was reading a funny article on Newsweek.com about this dude who became an - his words here peeps - asshole. Newsweek did an article about him (Martin Kihn: A$$hole: How I Got Rich and Happy by Not Giving a Damn About Anyone and How You Can Too) and it was funny how many different terms they had to come up with for the word ass/asshole. For instance:
  • masspole !!!
  • rectum (damn near killed him - HAHAHAHA! That is the BEST joke!)
  • family-unfriendly word that NEWSWEEK generally avoids
  • curse word synonymous with "unbelievable jerk" that begins with the letter A
  • [anus]ism
  • epithet that begins with the first letter of the alphabet
  • buttocks personified
  • scatological body part
  • orifice
  • disagreeable people
  • excretory opening
  • proctological
  • posterior portal
  • the word we have refrained from printing thus far in this interview
  • begins with A, you figure it out
Anyhoo, I found it funny and I think that I will begin calling a$$holes by the term "posterior portals" - a much cleverer term.

Bonus: My husband will have to think for a few minutes before he realizes what I've called him. KIDDING!!!

It might take a little longer.

2 comments:

mccobbey said...

I kinda like "proctological." It sounds very educated and maybe like I should be a doctor or something......

Hello...My name is Kareah... said...

Why have I never read your blog???
You are one of the funniest people I've ever met. I'm going to start saying, "He is quite the buttocks personified." when referring to such a person.