Thursday, April 24, 2008

Do I NEED that Snickers Bar? No. Am I going to HAVE that Snicker's Bar? YES

Because some days, you really, really, REALLY need chocolate. And peanuts. And caramel.

You know what I'm talkin' about.

Holla.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Zoinks!

Life has sure been busy. I've missed you blogger buddy and the ZERO total people who read about my sad, sorry and silly old life.

I got a haircut. It's really short. REALLY short. The kind of short that makes your husband look like a long-haired-hippie-freak-even-tho-he's-got-a-crewcut short. But it's cool, and it only takes me three (3) minutes in the morning. And THAT'S what it's all about.

I was reading a funny article on Newsweek.com about this dude who became an - his words here peeps - asshole. Newsweek did an article about him (Martin Kihn: A$$hole: How I Got Rich and Happy by Not Giving a Damn About Anyone and How You Can Too) and it was funny how many different terms they had to come up with for the word ass/asshole. For instance:
  • masspole !!!
  • rectum (damn near killed him - HAHAHAHA! That is the BEST joke!)
  • family-unfriendly word that NEWSWEEK generally avoids
  • curse word synonymous with "unbelievable jerk" that begins with the letter A
  • [anus]ism
  • epithet that begins with the first letter of the alphabet
  • buttocks personified
  • scatological body part
  • orifice
  • disagreeable people
  • excretory opening
  • proctological
  • posterior portal
  • the word we have refrained from printing thus far in this interview
  • begins with A, you figure it out
Anyhoo, I found it funny and I think that I will begin calling a$$holes by the term "posterior portals" - a much cleverer term.

Bonus: My husband will have to think for a few minutes before he realizes what I've called him. KIDDING!!!

It might take a little longer.